Marriage & Relationships
Relationships - But I Never Meant That
Communication is the key to any relationship. With bad communication, problems crop up at unexpected places. This is a classical case.
Communication is the key to any relationship. With bad communication, problems crop up at unexpected places. This is a classical case. I am feeling very hurt because of what you said. When did I say that? Two days back. But I never meant that. I do not know what you meant, but it has been hurting me since then. Oh, I am sorry. I genuinely never meant that. Why did you not ask me then and there? I was very hurt to ask. Oh, I am very sorry.
What you say can make a big difference to your relationship. How will the listener know what you mean? The listener only picks up your words and makes interpretation. Choosing right words while communicating is important. If you know about your partners sensitivities about a subject, you have to be very careful while talking even in jest. Your tone has to be perfect and you have to be careful while speaking. You never know when you will hurt your partners feelings. This communication care is very important if the relationship is already going bad and you wish to save it.
Freedom in communication can be taken if you are sure that your partner understands you well and will not take any talk otherwise. In that case, you both behave like close friends, who speak their mind without bothering. If the relationship has not reached that level you have to be careful while talking. Loose talk can spoil a relationship.
the x factor
Are you “friends” with your ex boyfriend?
Maybe your ex suggested it would be a good idea to be friends...
...or maybe you think it’s “better than nothing” if the alternative is losing him forever.
Being friends with your ex is actually almost always a bad idea and a recipe for additional (and unnecessary) heartache.
That’s especially true if you want to get your ex back, but it’s even true if you’re ready to move on and don’t want to get back together.
And although the “friend zone” is a terrible place to be with your ex, so many people fall for this trap because it’s such a tempting idea.
I mean, your ex is giving you an option that allows you to maintain contact with the person you’ve loved for some time and, in theory, this will allow you to move on gently and slowly without the intense feelings of loneliness that often accompany a breakup.
After all, if you can slowly wean yourself off those romantic feelings rather than going “cold turkey” and shutting down all contact with your ex, isn’t that a better option?
But the problem is that even though it often seems like a perfect compromise, being friends usually provides very little comfort and actually makes the process of moving on longer and more difficult than it needs to be.
AND... even more importantly... it will ruin your chances of winning him back!
There are a few other huge problems with agreeing to be friends with your ex if you want to win him back:
1.) It won’t give him a chance to develop feelings of nostalgia, and he won’t miss you as much. One of the key ingredients to repairing a relationship is that your ex needs to miss you like crazy.
How do you make someone miss you? Simple: disappear from their life suddenly and completely, shutting down all lines of communication. By maintaining a friendship with your ex, it’s impossible to really effectively disappear from their radar and make him miss you.
2.) It gives complete control of the situation to your ex. Another key to winning back your boyfriend is to make it clear that you are still 'equal' with him even though he decided to break up with you. You need to make it known that you’re not a pushover and that if your ex isn’t interested in a romantic relationship, then he's cut from your life altogether.
3.) You serve as a “safety net” for your ex while he looks for someone new. Do you want to be your ex’s confidante while they tell you about their new lovers? Do you want to be the backup plan in case things don’t work out with the new romance they’re pursuing? Of course not.
You have to make it absolutely clear to your ex that if they choose to break up with you, they’re on their own and they can’t come running back to you if they find the single life a bit less fun than they’d imagined it would be.
In reality, there really isn’t any scenario where being friends (at least for the first few months) after a breakup is possible.
If you’ve already agreed to be “friends” with your ex and got yourself stuck in the “friend zone,” calm down... you can still undo this mistake and win him back (but only if you take action ASAP!).
The first step is to watch this complimentary video by world-renowned breakup guru Brad Browning.
In fact, even if you haven’t yet agreed to be friends with your ex, you should still take 5 minutes to watch Brad's video... it will teach you a few little-known techniques to re-wire your ex’s feelings and make him want you back. Just click this link:
Thank me later... 🙂